Assbook

This is bad and I apologize in advance. I've waited an unknown number of days to blog this so as not to get caught(grin). Since completing my facebook registration a few months back, I've been adding people to my friends list and getting invites from people to add myself to theirs, etc., and sometimes I'll get an invite from someone and I don't really remember who they are at first. After a few emails, or a quick spin through their photo list, something usually clicks and I go "Oh yeah! Now I remember!". It happens with guys and girls, but in the case of the girls, it occurred to me that I could probably have my memory refreshed much quicker if there was a social networking website called "assbook" instead of facebook, because.. uhh.. well.. It was a part of the body I paid a lot of attention to in my female compatriots back in the day.

A pretty face and great personality aside, some guys like a women's legs, some guys like women's breasts. I know what I liked.

So I'll come clean, if you were female, and had a rear-end, I checked it out in great detail from varying distances. And I NEVER got caught. If there was an opportunity to get caught looking, I declined it and looked straight ahead. No way was I gonna let someone know I was doing it lest it be considered rude. I was a seripticious butt checker-outer (still am). I recall many a tight-jean-clad rolodex vision in my head. Nothing like 1980's tight denim. Loved those stirrup pants! I had some sort of remembered biological ratings system too! . WTF on that?

This thought comes about after being facebooked recently by an old female classmate, who I did not immediately recognize by her head shot(heck, it had been 20 plus years). After a few days it hit me and I recognized her. I also realized that had she sent a picture of her rear-end circa 1987 the recognition would have clicked immediately.

Again I apologize for this admittance. I'm a guy. We're like this sometimes.. (makes caveman sounds). And thanks for all the great memories!

P.S. to put this thing in perspective, I'll toss out this example. In the summer after grade 10, I was standing on the sidewalk with my friends Rob and Darryl one afternoon in July, and about , I dunno 200 meters away (lets call it two football fields) we saw a girl get off the bus. We all looked but the other guys did not know who it was. She had her back to us (and something else), and was wearing very tight jeans. The guys went "Who is that?"
"It's (insert name here)." I said
"No it isn't. You can't tell from here. What makes you think it's her?" Rob asked.
"Her butt..." I said.

And I was right. They were impressed.

Good thing Lisa doesn't read my blog!

Muhahahahahaha!