Nice Doggy!

Last Saturday night was UFC night, the Ultimate Fighting Championships with George St-Pierre taking on Matt Hughes for the interim title. My neighbor's brother was getting the fight on PPV and we headed over to his place at 9:30pm to watch it. It was my first time at his place, and he had the biggest dog I have ever seen. It was an Akita breed, and looked like it weighed over 130 pounds.

The owner asked me when I came in if I was afraid of dogs 'cause he could put him away if that was the case, but I said "No not at all, I love 'em.."(grin), and this is true. I get my dog fix at other people's houses because I don't have one. I'd like one but you know, I really don't miss the dog hair, the walks and picking up the poop and all that. More importantly, the family is allergic so I live without the dog thing.

So I held my hand out for the dog to sniff but he ignored it and trotted off down the hallway. He got a toy and headed back my way. "My god that is a huge dog!" I thought. He looked like a small bear. I set my drinks and peanut M&M's down on the kitchen counter and started talking to the owner about his dog just as it trotted in with the toy. I kneeled down in front of it to play with him and before my knees touched the ground it had dropped the toy, his muzzle got these little wrinkles on it and with a little snort he shot forward and clamped his teeth on the front of my throat and started biting and shaking me.

I didn't expect that at all so he had a great wide open shot at me. I didn't even have time to put my hands up. His owner freaked and grabbed him and managed to pry his jaws open. I don't remember doing anything to get him off but later at the hospital I noticed my thumb was cut so I must have jammed it in his mouth at some point. I think he was on for about three seconds and then the owner popped him off and stuck him somewhere. The weird thing is that the attack was totally unprovoked. I'm not a loud person. I'm calm, I move slow. It just snapped. Maybe getting down on it's level set it off, maybe direct eye contact, I probably smiled and showed teeth, maybe it was just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Who knows. It's the first time I've ever been attacked and I've been rolling around on the floor with big dogs all my life(may have to re-evaluate this policy).

I remember standing up and it didn't hurt just then, it was kinda hot was all, and I touched my throat and looked at my hand. Blood everywhere. Not good. My first thought was the jugular vein or the carotid arteries. I don't know how they work but I know spurting is not a good sign. It's basically your suddenly racing heart helping to pump all the blood out of your body. I was kinda worried just then and asked the guys, "Uhh, what's it look like? Should we be calling 911 or anything?" The faces I got back were concerning me a bit. I think the word is "agast"? It mustn't look good - but I felt ok.. I was in the kitchen and there was a wack of paper towels on a rack so I took a few and pressed them up against my neck and looked at it. Just 5 or 6 big red openings looked like, bleeding pretty good but not gushing or spraying or all that bad stuff. This was not a Clint Malarchuk moment (thank god). The owner was back and pressing a wad of the paper towels in my neck and I asked to see a mirror so he steered me into the bathroom. He wet a big clump of the paper towels and cleaned all the blood away and it looked Ok actually. Just a bunch of 2cm holes in my neck. The dog had missed all the important stuff! I clued in to the fact that I was able to talk ok, and there was no blood in my throat. This was gonna be ok!. Woohoo! I tried to reassure the owner, who probably thought I was gonna bleed out on his kitchen floor at first, grabbed a pile of the paper towels and out the door I went to get driven to the closest hospital, the Montford(cute nurses!), where they stitched me up. I don't think I had been in the guy's house for more than 5 minutes.

The doctor was impressed. He told me it was good that he got me on the front of the throat (I told him I just basically sat there and let him bite me on the neck like a dork) because all the important stuff is on the sides and if I'd have turned to get away and not been fast enough, he could have opened up something important, and then I'd be at the Civic or the (he mentioned another hospital). And then he snickered. I didn't get the joke but I guess it has something to do with vascular surgery or something like that. Or maybe those hospitals have the best morgues (you know how night shift doctors are).

The owner told me he was going to put the dog down and I feel bad about it, but it's the right thing to do I guess. It was one of those vicious attacks. Not a nip, or a bite and let go. It was a go for the throat and hang on kinda thing.

The next day I googled the breed, "Akita" and it seems that they aren't really very nice dogs. They seem to attack people and other pets a lot! So I must be in a club or something now. I dunno, maybe it's because they are prized for their ability to hunt bears, but I'd think twice about getting one as a family pet.

One website had a quote like:

"Excuse me, but what kind of dog is that? He looks just like a big bear!"

Chances are, the questioner has just met an Akita, a Natural Treasure of Japan.

hope the meeting went better than mine!