Tuesday, October 30, 2007

People who park like assholes bug me.

People who park like assholes really REALLY bug me. Today I went to Futureshop (to act like the typical north american consumer I am) and all the spots are taken so I park in the back of the parking lot. On the walk up to the store I see some parktard (google that term) right in front, right beside the handicapped space (which was taken up by some car with no handicapped sticker, which also bugs me) and his way cool pimped out compact sports car is parked at an angle taking up two spaces lest someone ding his door.
Don't the inconsiderate idiots who park like this know that parking like that just makes me WANT to ding their car?

There's a few parktards where I work but they can't get away with taking up two spaces (the parking fairy will give them a ticket) so they're sneaky. They have to get in fairly early and what they do is park at the end of a row and park diagonally on the last spot and on the grass, or just a small bit on the end-part of the parking lot that is not an official parking spot. In fact, it says "no parking". I think that deserves a ticket! I don't know why this bugs me just as much since they're not depriving me of a space, but it does. Must be the intelligence insulting 'I can't trust you not to ding my spectacular ride, so I'm going to make it hard to do so my taking up two spaces because my car is worth it and yours sucks!"

My car does suck. But I prefer it that way. I couldn't care less if some guy dinged my car.

I was reading some guy's blog and he said he saw some moron like that parked across two spaces and someone had left him a note on his windshield. It just said "F$&K YOU!"
I'm gonna start leaving notes like that.

One longtime parktard that I personally took action against was a woman with a FAKE handicapped sticker (she bought it somewhere, it was green or something, not blue like the issued ones) and she would park in front of the steps at the edge of the parking lot. You couldn't use the damn steps with her stupid car there. In the winter with the 4 foot snowbanks you had to shimmy past her car to reach the stairwell and I'd drag my backpack across her side panels hoping it would catch onto something and break it. It was either that or hold it over my head. I hope she had fun adjusting her mirrors every day. I blasted facilities a nasty email one day because once she blocking the damn stairs again, I detoured over the grass and stepped in a gopher hole and twisted my ankle. It was really funny to my buddies because we were all having to walk out onto the field (stairs were blocked by the parktard) and I was in the front so I turned around to walk backwards and rant about the parktard when, "THUMP" like a sack of potatoes!

They really moved after that email. It seems that clumsy people like myself who need to be protected against falling down and hurting themselves get all the attention. Try it sometime! They hear "workman's comp" and they move like the bejesus. Apparently I was not hte only one to complain, I was just the last. The "no parking" sign went up a week later.

Hey, did you know there are websites for people like me to vent on? Check out youparklikeanasshole.com. They have some official looking ticket thing you can print out and leave on people's cars. It looks like a parking ticket!

The Patterson Film is 40 years old!

Ahh, that's good old frame 352 on the left! Taken on Oct 20th 2007 near Bluff Creek the Patterson film is widely regarded by Bigfoot folks (myself included) as the holy grail of proof that big hairy bi-peds are walking around the forests of western North America.

Man, the Wiki article has been updated quite a bit! Check it out!

I love the way Patty moves (she's female, check out the hairy boobs). I have tried to walk like this, it's pretty un-natural. I also like the way she turns and moves her shoulders like her jaw is too big to do a proper head turn, it kinda runs into her shoulder like a gorilla. I think someone in a suit (not to mention the SPX back then were not so hot as they are today) would have just head turned naturally. Also the big line down the back like a silverback gorilla is really something. The muscles move under the fur too, something they can't even seem to get right today in SPX films.

That idiot Bob Heironimus who claims to be a guy in the suit for the film is totally out to lunch. he says, among other things, that the suit was made outta horse hair(that Patterson skinned a orse), that the head was fashioned from a football helmet, and that the suit came in two pieces. When pressed, he doesn't even know how many pieces the suit was in total. If the feet were attached ot not. He claims a pair of pants with a drawstring and a top that you put on like a t-shirt. Yah right.

Everyone has looked at this film and it's inconclusive, yet is is a powerful set of images. It's definitely something! Disney couldn't find a zipper! One day someone will get evidence of one of those things and it will be one of the coolest things to happen since some guy walked on the moon!

Recently some guy posted pics of a supposed baby sasquatch his game-cam caught. Great timing! I gotta go check that out! In the meantime. Here's Patty!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Aldebaran - Graphic novel series en Francais!

If there was one plus to learning French, it's that tons of cool graphic novels come from France or Belgium and they're all french. I've been a fan of Heavy Metal Magazine since I was a kid and saw some great Mobius Sci Fi (and cartoon boobs were cool when I was 12!) in my first issue. I was pretty much hooked. Many years later I found out that many of the sci fi graphic novels featured in HM were actually french in origin and had been simply traslated for use in the enlish market.

Well, the Orleans public library has about 4 or 5 floor to ceiling book-cases of the stuff, it's almost always there (because it's french I think) and a few weeks ago I stumbled across this series called Aldebaran by Léo(Luiz Eduardo de Oliveira), a Paris re-located Brazilian. It's one of the best things I've read in ages! I have to use an electronic dictionary from time to time and there are some weird written tenses ("Fut", passé simple, who knew?) but the story is top notch. They gotta start making films out of these. Oh and the cartoon boobs, forever a staple of french BD (Band Desiner), are 'partout'.

The story is about a planet long colonized by earth but forgotten and left to fend for itself as economic crises or some such thing halts space travel to the colony from Earth. The people on the new planet have no idea what's happened (no communication) and simply spend the next 100 years trying to survive and grow the initial colony population. To do this a totalitarian regime installs itself and the state decrees that all women should have between 8 and 9 babies to grow the population. Women in prison are artificially inseminated against their will. The story starts in a small fishing village where locals start to notice strange behavoir amongst the aquatic population and huge strange structures manifesting themselves out of water and then turning back to liquid. Two strangers appear on the scene and speak of a huge 'creature' that is said to inhabit the ocean and is responsible for the strange happenings.

*******Spoiler alert*******

Tons of strange quirky facts all arrange themselves to uncover the story. Like, why are the two strangers found in photos that are over 100 years old, why are they wanted by the state? Why is it that when one of them gets their hand amputated in one scene that it grows back in a few weeks (actually that scene is pretty dicey, one of the strangers gets shot in the hand, gangreen sets in and the person insists that it be removed. Since they are in the woods with no tools, on the run from the police, the other person gnaws it off with his teeth at the insistance of the other - WOOHOO!

The alien animal life is fabulously drawn and there'S an ongoing theme in the books where the stuff that looks dangerous isn't really but the Ewok-looking thing that looks like a child's toy can rip your head off.

Check it out if you get the chance!

I'm reading Betelgeuze by the same guy now..

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Bigfoot 2 filming almost wrapped up

All the day scenes for the Bigfoot 2 Geocaching movie are finished up (save for the odd pickup). Just 2 more night shoots and we should be finished (then 3 months of editing begins!). I don't know if I'll ever shoot on a cliff again, it's a pain running up and down that damned thing. It's also amazing the amount of people and dogs that come down that path and then you're having to explain yourself.. Like,"No, I'm not making a gopher snuff film.." Generally the people get a kick out of it. We also see some geocachers doing the nearby caches in the area.

We got pretty much all the shots we needed and the weather kinda co-operated, although unfortunatly it will go from cloudy to sunny quite a bit as we insert the shots filmed out of sequence (hey it's a hack film, what do you expect!) but that's ok because I got a great shot of the sun clouding over. I'll show that once and all further cloudy to bright shots will be forgiven!
The stunts went off without a hitch although I have figured out that I need some kind of "fall bag" so the "actors" (hehehehe) can throw themselves to the ground without fear of killing themselves, etc.. Ahh, next movie.. Just another freakin thing to drag up the cliff. Someone took a shot of all the shit I have to bring when we shoot. I put it on a snow-sled and haul it out into the woods every time and everyone has their hands full with something or other. It's a killer!
I plan to have a special preview trailer ready for GAG11 (an upcoming geocaching get together) that will include existing we have now, minus the night shoot material. Then a real Trailer will come out in November. The night shoots will be cool because we'll use those Sony night vision cams alongside regular cams with as much lighting as we can muster. It seems to be cutting well because I find myself giggling away at the computer as the footage comes together. Hopefully there are freaks out there who share my sense of humour.
As always a big thanks to everyone who comes out to help. The film would not exsist otherwise and it's amazing that they do the silly things I ask them to do.
"Ok run down that hill backwards carrying this tripod pointed at yourself!"
"Put this down your pants!"
"Ok, I'll just attach the gopher's face to your groin with this clamp, once you lose feeling it won't hurt at all!"
"Ok, Tripper, kiss Grizz...." (Oops, that's for part 3...)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Cannington 2007 Don Ross Andy Mckee Guitar weekend

It was that time of year again, time to pack up the old acoustic guitar (that looks like a bedpan) and head up to the home of Canada's best known and loved fingerstyle guitarist, Don Ross in Cannington Ontario. I stayed at one of his neighbor's again, in the house that looks like it's right outta the Munsters, a fantastic place!

As usual the food was GREAT and the music was EXCELLENT and the people were AMAZING! Some great players as always, you really push yourself to get better after going to one of these things. I wrote down the names of a pile of tunes I gotta learn now as people unveiled some real gems during song circle, not to mention the in-depth look we got at Andy's tunes, like Drifting, Hovercar, Art of Motion, etc. So many tunes, so little time! I think the thing I like the best about these weekend seminars is the oppertunity to ask the composer of the tune, who is sitting there right in front of you, to play the part of the peice you're interested in slowmo, and to break down the right and left hand fingerings. I video tape it so I can watch it later and that's where the instruction really sinks in. That stuff is like GOLD man!

The seminars were held in Don's new backyard studio. It's pretty neat that he records there considering you must have to go kill all the crickets first "Meep meep" (cricket sounds)(grin). He said he has a new CD on the go, a duets CD with Mckee and a vocal tunes CD. We heard a few cuts off of them during the weekend and I stumbled across soem more in a CDR in the disc changer in his van when I volenteered to drive to the nearby town of Lindsey to get a spotlight stand for the concert that Saturday night.

Actually that was kind of weird. Sometime around 1992 I heard Don's tune "The First Ride" on the radio and freaked, calling the DJ at the radio station for more info on the guy and here I am 15 years later driving Don Ross's van listening to unreleased tracks on his CD player as I go get a spot light for a show I'm roadieing for him. It's freaky the way things turn out.

Don showed us how to play the lovey "Brooke's Waltz" a piece he gets a lot of requests to TAB. It's in a remarkable tuning that I hope he explores further. Also, the subject of that song, Don's wife Brooke Miller was there and I was lucky enough to plunk her down on a chair with my guitar and film her fingers playing "Country from the Domecar" and "Jericho", two tunes of hers I'm gonna lift and learn how to play someday (I got all the secrets now! Muhahahahaha) She is one of the coolest people on the planet and an extremely talented songwriter in her own right. Definitely a three for two deal at Cannington these days when it comes to famous musicians!
Next year I hear the guest may be Beppe Gambetta from Italy. Color me there!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Shooting gophers in my basement

So that requires some explanation, especially since I put it up last night on facebook as my status tag. I got wall postings and emails from all the animal lovers (of which I am one) on my list demanding further clarification.

All the little hairy rats are hibernating now, there's no way I could have a real one in my basement and be trying to fill it with lead. I don't even own a gun! (neighbor does though!).

What I did was drag my finished gopher tunnel set down in the basement and began filling the gopher sequences for "Trailerpark Geocachers meet Bigfoot 2" to string together with the on-location footage from last week. It's going well!

The set looks real nice. There's some construction pics on my flicker page. Basically it's expanding monofoam sculpted with an exacto knife and sprayed with glue and a liberal amount of black earth chucked at it until it sticks. This footage is mixed in with green screen and clean plate on-location footage. I think it's gonna look cool! Here's an old gopher green screen test.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Zartimus's Acoustic guitar from hell!!!!

If I haven't blabbed about it incessantly to everyone by now, I'm having a custom acoustic guitar built by Tony Karol in Toronto. It's been under construction for over a year now and should be ready by Xmas 2007. It has every cool little feature I've ever wanted in a guitar! I first saw his work at the Canadian guitar festival and found that one of his display models (called the guiding light guitar) was pretty much almost exactly what I wanted in a guitar, save for one or two things. It was a great way to see what it would look and sound like before it got built and after having talked to him on the Don Ross list the year beforehand I decided to bite the bullet after the festival and place an order. A partial laundry list of features is as follows:

Bearclaw Sitka top
Cocobolo back and sides
segmented spalted maple rosette
Florentine cutaway
5 piece mahogany neck, black lines
K&K trinity quantum blender
Sideport sound hole
Laskin armrest and ribrest in dark spanish cedar
Multiscale (fanfret) neck , 25.5 to 26.75

It's gonna be a monster! Tony sends me pics every couple of months as it is being constructed, and initially gave me lots of choices for hunks of wood, which I just picked out of the photos he sent.

All the wood I choose had these huge sap lines which look real cool when finished, so it should have a distinct look when it's all finished up.

It was quite something to have to choose every little damned thing on it, from the purfling lines to the mitered wedges etc. In some cases I didn't know what the terminology was so it was great learning "Oh THAT's what you call that! Yeah, I want one of those things!"

It's going to be a year and a half wait all told but that's ok. It gives me time to save up to pay for it!

I even got to design the guitar case (When the page loads click on the Launch Interactive case selector). The case is gonna look like this. I choose blue because I've never ever seen a blue guitar case and when I'm in a room with 20 guitars the cases are almost always black (maybe the odd yellow one). It's gonna look like this..

I can't wait to hear what it's gonna sound like outta the case 'au natural". With the K&K trinity quantum blender it's gonna sound damned fine when amplified, I've heard them on Brooke Miller and Don Ross's guitars and the reviews of them are all top notch.

The countdown is on!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Rush concert and the foldy sleevie guy

I went to see RUSH last week with Kirok and crew. Rush is like Pizza or sex, even if it's bad it's still pretty damned good, and it's not that they were bad or anything, it's just that they played the new CD (which I've listened too once) in it's entirety and it , uhh, pretty much sucks. There are one or two instrumentals which are listenable, but the "songs" are just big heavy chord changes with disjointed lyrics over amazing drum parts.
The opened with Limelight, my favorite Rush song of all time, starting the night off on a good note but as the new material crept in more and more, it was hard to maintain interest.
It got so boring at one point I couldn't blame the guy in the seat behind me when he started carrying on a 20 minute conversation with his buddy at the top of his freakin lungs. This guy was having a normal conversation, but he was yelling it as loud as he could so his buddy could hear him. He was louder than the band. After a good long while I couldn't help myself and turned around and yelled at him "Could you talk a little louder? I can still hear the band!"..
It was at that point that I noticed that he must work out a lot, because he was wearing a little t-shirt and he was making that little fashion statement where you flip up the short little sleevies and fold them over a few times to make little cuffs so you could see how enormous his biceps were.
That always bugs me. It bugs me like people with fake boobs bug me. Not because I don't have enormous biceps(or fake boobs), but because people who do that have decided to make sure that it's the first thing you notice about them, and it ain't for any good reason.

So, I made a mental note to "turn around and look at who you're going to have a talk with in the future - like, BEFORE you say anything remotely snarky.." But it was too late, I had already started and when you do stuff like that, it's like CPR, you're not supposed to stop. So I plowed ahead like I hadn't noticed.
"I'm sure you didn't pay $70 to sit there and scream at your buddy all night, you could have just rented live in Rio!" He said nothing... Just looked at me. He looked pretty drunk.
(sigh) Time to be tactful "Look I'm disappointed they're playing all the new stuff too but it's really hard to get into it with you guys screaming at the back of my head like that...." Nothing. Just a stare. Man those are BIG biceps.. I wonder if he's not talking because he's thinking of ways to kill me...

One last try "You don't care do you......" I shook my head and turned around and sat down again.With my back turned to him I was wondering if he'd pour his beer on me. That was the next logical step for him if he was an asshole. Hmm, what was I gonna do if he spilled his beer on me? I guess I'd have to go buy a coke after and kinda walk up to the row behind him and return the favor and then he'd really try to kill me and he'd probably win but man I'd have a really neat story for my blog(and we have great hospitals in Canada!)!

But I was still dry.

He stopped talking for awhile but after every song he'd HOOT and HOLLER like they were playing the old stuff (which Getty and the boys were not) and I guess that was for me. After another few songs Rob (who was sitting beside me) stood up and told him to shut his piehole, but using much nicer words. He's MUCH better at it than me (I think the extra 4 or 5 inches in height counts for something too). I think he said something like "Hey it would be AWSOME if you guys could stop yaking away at the top of your lungs like that because you're being inconsiderate to everybody around you.." etc...

And the guy did.. I think he even apologized!

The fucker.

Epilogue.. I was at work a few days after, and there was a fire alarm, so I'm going down the stairs and I see a guy a flight below me.. Hey! It's the same big loud-mouthed guy from the concert! With the same rolled up sleevies! NO WAY! I hurried down after him. I figured it would be funny to go up to him outside on the lawn and ask him if he remembered me from the Rush concert. What was he gonna do? We worked at the same place(grin). It would be funny and we'd laugh about it.

But it wasn't the same guy. I knew it the second he spoke. The other guy had this ridiculously high nasally voice. This guy hadn't gone to the concert. Ah well.

I think I'll pass on the boys from Rush next time they come to town. I realize it sucks to play the same songs over and over again for 30 years, but it's what the fans want. They have to realize that the new CD is very weak material and the concert could have been so much better had they done a greatest hits sets. Ah well. Maybe I'm just OLD!

It was enjoyable none the less. Pizza Rush..