Monday, July 20, 2009

Break topics 2009-07-20 - dead horse to fake dog testicles.

At work I sometimes go to break with a rag-tag group of current and ex co-workers and colleagues.

We appear to be an eclectic bunch and I've noticed that the topic of conversations are ridiculously varied and change faster than Michael Jackson's face (oops, sorry. There I go makin' fun of a dead guy). The thing that I find interesting is how one key word will swing the conversation in a direction it has no place going in. It's very odd. So I jotted some of the topics down on my IPOD and I'll mention some of the more interesting ones here.

- Someone's horse died on the weekend. It was a gelding. I asked what a gelding was (confusing it with a gelfling, an elf-like creature in the movie The Dark Crystal). I was told it was a horse with no balls.
"Why would you cut a horse's balls off?" I asked.
"To make it calmer.." I was told.
"Would that work with me?"
"Probably. let's try it.. " no thanks..

Someone chimed in.
"My dog is fixed, and he doesn't seem to care.." I thought about this.
"I wonder if having no testosterone producing balls would affect whether or not you'd look at good-looking ladies?" (like the ones just leaving the cafeteria at that moment).

"Maybe the dog doesn't care because it's realized it has no reason to live!" someone said. Chuckles all around..

"Chemical castration in sexual predators is said to work, as long as they keep taking it".
someone else added. Suddenly I remembered something..

"In Beverly Hills there is a vet who will fix your dog and sew fake balls into his scrotum afterward so he doesn't feel bad about himself!" I added.

"I wouldn't buy fake balls for my dog!"

"Why not!" I asked. "What kind of person doesn't want the best for his pet?"

Fake boobs were mentioned. I wouldn't buy those either. I told the story about how fake boobs sink and real ones float and how I found out by accident at work one day.

So we went from a dead horse to fake balls in your dog's nutsack. Typical..

Someone told a bad joke that made us all get up and leave..

"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?"
"When she fits in your wife's clothes!"


I wasn't kidding about the fake dog nuts. Take a peek here: A set for your 140-190 pound dog will run you $449 US!


Neuticles®ULTRAPLUS® Featuring ScarRetard

NU-XXLarge 140-190 lbs+ 2.75" $329 $449

No comments: