Wednesday, December 13, 2006

That's not an O-Henry in the tub ... Again..

I was playing single parent for a day last week, my wife was out at an all-day scrapbooking thingie and I was bathing the two monkeys after supper. After about 15 minutes the 6 year old screams..

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It touched me!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And jumps out of the tub and proceeds to do some type of South American Native dance. The 2 year old had shit in the tub (again)..

"It touched my HAND!!!!!!!!!!!"

One thing about us human beings, when it comes to shit, we want to be as far away from that stuff as we can get. Just look at the way our toilets are constructed. With the exception of some of my 6000 co-workers (a good percentage of them do not flush in the public stalls after they void), one touch of the handle and that stuff is whisked away down a small dark water slide, never to be seen again(by you at least)..

I got Jade to wash her hands and as I drained the water, fished the "pooper" out of the tub and sat her on the toilet (it's a chance for a little early training!) that's when I turned to see how Jade was doing and spotted a spider the size of a quarter sidling up the wall inches from the sink. Man, if she sees that thing on top of all this, this whole evening is going to be ruined on account of floating poop and spiders. So I distracted Jade and squished the damn thing behind her back before it could get away all the time balancing the 2 year old on the toilet seat so she would not fall in the hole.

What a pleasant evening. After disinfecting the entire area and blasting the shower for 15 minutes I put the kids to bed, I didn't mention anything until hours later when my wife came back late that evening. She had drawn a bath, and was soaking in it.

"Hey, did I tell you Jasmine shat in the tub?"....


And by the way..... You do not.. Want.. to .. go here....
I clicked .. And I'm sorry I did.. I'm just putting it here because someone told me about it the other day, and it fit the topic.. And I think people like Gwillicker and Lifto will get a kick out of it. (shudder)

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