Monday, April 23, 2007

Movin' the body

I was late for work the other day, my kid had a doctor's appointment and I had to go downtown and then truck back home and off to work again. On the way back I drove by the same patch of forest I do every day and it occurred to me that now would be a good time to get something over with. I had to move the body. Last October I planted a new geocache, called the body, because it was, a body kinda, but recently I'd gotten a disturbing email.
Some hiker had found him in the woods and was really pissed off about it. This lady was hiking in the boonies (there is no trail to this thing, she was basically wandering around bushwacking), discovered it and found it "Offensive, offensive, offensive, etc.." She tracked down a local geocacher at her place of work and put the word out that she would have the NCC and the police and who knows what else out there removing it if I didn't do it myself!

The NCC can be pretty nasty when it comes to removing these kinds of things. It will leave homeless shelters with dirty needles intact out in the sticks but man, a little wooden house with a gnome in it, that's gotta go! Or a nice little house made outta rocks! OHHHH dangerous!!! All probably precipitated by some busybody with nothing better to do than to protect the earth from illegal gnome housing out in the woods.

Now I have not spoken to this person although I've gotten my email address to her over a week ago. She has declined to contact me it seems. Going through this co-worker 3rd party (I'm sure she has better things to do) I've found out that the hiker was not scared running into this thing, just pissed that it was there. Maybe she figures she thinks for the planet and I'm just some freaky guy with a sick sense of humour who likes offending people(grin). I guess the 100 people who have found the body in the woods and logged it as a geocache are all sick puppies too. I guess the fact it also won the favourite cache award at GAG9 means that geocachers as a whole must be sick puppies(grin).

Oh well.

Fine. It's gone now. When I find my geocaches being discovered by muggles (and this is the very worst kind of self-righteous muggle) I move them no questions asked. For two reasons. If muggle A found it, then so will muggle B and C. Muggle B will pee on it and muggle C will do the same and possibly try to set it on fire (if it's not soaked in too much pee) so it is far better to remove it and place it another day.

So good luck finding it now. Only geocachers should be able too when I re-plant it next month. I've made the geocache page inaccessible to muggles for the time being. If the offended party should stumble upon my blog (which means she's got nothing better to do than to snoop around looking for info on me), please drop me an email, perhaps you can learn to live and let live and take into account that not all people think like you (thank god), and that Police have better things to do than removing a guy in the forest made outta duct tape wearing a Halloween mask. (Not the NCC though. They live for this stuff).

When I got to work later I ran into a co-worker on the steps and he made the mistake of asking why I was late.

"Had to move a body." I said.

P.S. At Toys R Us for $8 bucks you can buy a Ken doll. Maybe the self-righteous muggle would traipse out there with the NCC or Police in tow. And presuming she could even find the thing again, she wouldn't find the body as it was in it's original state. She'd find a little 12 inch ken doll mocked up like the old body in it' s place. Complete with a little film cannister for a microcache. Call it the mini-body!

Explain that to the officers!


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