Monday, May 08, 2006

On the eve of the Great Race - Part Trois

Well, It's gonna be that time again soon. Teabag and I race each other once a year or so. The original Great Race was quite the debacle on my part. Three years ago we lined up and Medium sized Mikey is the starter. He goes..
"On your Mark!" "get set"
(pause where you would expect most human beings to yell GO!)

On the part where you'd expect a "Go"! I hesitated. There was no GO! Teabag ran on the part where there should have been a go, so what the hey! I went too! So he had a good lead on me. I caught up or he slowed down once everyone realized that it had been a false start but...

Something was wrong.. With me... In my uhh, groinal area.. A white hot searing pain each step I took back to the start line.. Uh oh...

So Mikey gets fired for his ridiculous start and someone else does it.. On yer mark, get set, GO etc.. and Teabag takes off like a shot, and I uhh, try too.. and fail..

What seems to have have happened is that on the false start and the ensuring jolt to come out of the starting gate late and catch T-bag, I seemed to have pulled my groin and left part of it sitting on the road some where... Yeeouch! So T-bag wins, I'm a lame duck, I proceed to stay and play hockey so as to try and work things out and I had a spectacular game! I have discovered the true secret to good goaltending.

Don't move!

Because I couldn't really move, I played goalie and every shot at the net hit me. It was great! I'm gonna remember this tidbit of information.. When the game was over, everyone headed back to work and soon left me in the dust. I could only walk like 2 miles an hour, if you call it walking. It was like a shuffle that elicited the least pelvic movement possible and they thought I was joking (for 2 and a half months). From what my doctor said it was a level 3 groin pull, or some such thing, and only time will fix it. That and to actually warm up and then stretch next time I do something like that...

I walked funny for 2 and a half months. The same day I pulled my groin some idiot set fire to the transitway bus station forcing the bus guys to put a detour in place forcing me to walk an extra half a kilometer every day for those 2 and a half months. (step.. ouch.. step.. Ouch.. step.. ouch..)

My gait was kinda like someone with a medical disability. If someone with cerebral palsy was walking in front of me, they'd swear I was walking like that to make fun of them.. No way in hell! This is how I walk now!!!!

I redeemed myself in The Great Race part Deux. There's video.. I'll post it some day soon..

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